[forvirret_]

Confusing Situation..

I've liked this girl for 5 months, she's liked me for 5 months. In the past 2 months we have gotten really close, many think we are already girlfriend and boyfriend..So today I was talking to her alone in the school library, and this is the conversation:

(She was really nervous, odd because she's usualy the assertive one)

Her:"I have a boyfriend, but I just found out I had a boyfriend yesterday.."

Me: "..Umm, how did you not know you had a boyfriend, and just found out?"

Her: "Well he asked me to hang out with him yesterday, so I did. Then he started acting like we were going out the next day so I asked him what our status was. He said "We are dating", and I didn't want to hurt his feelings and say no so all I said was "Ok". But I like you, I don't know what to do."

Me: "You could tell him he misinterpreted the situation.."

Her: "But when I talked to my mom about this, she told me I should stay with him. She would get so angry if I told him that. She would go as far as kicking me out of the house.."(Not for that particular situation, but because of a slew of different events she's been in, this would just be the icing on the cake)

Me: "So you like me, and you want to break up with this guy who thinks you're going out now, and your mother is holding you back."

Her: "Basicaly..What should I do?"

Me: "What ever you want; if you like him, stay with him, if you don't, don't. It's up to you."

Her: "Ok, I'll try tell him he misinterpreted the situation."
---
I actualy know the guy who she's going out with for the time being, he's in my 4th hour class lol..The guy is a Senior. I and her are Juniors, but she's a few months older than I am..Just incase you wanted to know our age. Because it's a seemingly immature ordeal..

Eh, I just don't know what to do..Mainly because she said she'll "try". Makes me thinks she's not that serious. Anyone know what to do/think..? Just sucks, because I like her so much, and this happens. We have become really close..

[Jenn.]

Her mom would kick her out of the house for not wanting to go out with someone? What?

Why would her mom say that? Shouldn't she want her daughter to be happy? If she doesn't want to go out with this guy, and go out with you, then she should! Her mom should want her to do what makes her happy.

You told her the right thing though, I think you handled it very well. If she doesn't end up telling him, or she keeps going out with him, then at least you'll know its more than likely not her fault. Shes doing it to please her mom. Plus, dating doesn't really mean she has a boyfriend. It just means shes dating someone. Usually its perfectly fine to DATE more than one person.

[forvirret_]

Originally Posted by Jenn436

Her mom would kick her out of the house for not wanting to go out with someone? What?

Why would her mom say that? Shouldn't she want her daughter to be happy? If she doesn't want to go out with this guy, and go out with you, then she should! Her mom should want her to do what makes her happy.

You told her the right thing though, I think you handled it very well. If she doesn't end up telling him, or she keeps going out with him, then at least you'll know its more than likely not her fault. Shes doing it to please her mom. Plus, dating doesn't really mean she has a boyfriend. It just means shes dating someone. Usually its perfectly fine to DATE more than one person.

Well she wouldn't get kicked out for that reason. She's been getting in some trouble lately, and this would just piss her mom off.

Saying "What ever you want; if you like him, stay with him, if you don't, don't. It's up to you." Was one of the most difficult things I've ever said in my life..Sucked.

[what's_taters?]

her mom sounds a few clowns short of a full circus.

points i want to make

1) if she cared about you in that way im sure she wouldnt have just gone out with this guy

2) why did she let him tell her that they were dating? and why did she then go along with that if its not what she wants?


but, well done to you for letting her make her mind up about the situation. now all you can do is sit and wait. i hope it turns out ok

[forvirret_]

Originally Posted by what's_taters?

her mom sounds a few clowns short of a full circus.

points i want to make

1) if she cared about you in that way im sure she wouldnt have just gone out with this guy

2) why did she let him tell her that they were dating? and why did she then go along with that if its not what she wants?


but, well done to you for letting her make her mind up about the situation. now all you can do is sit and wait. i hope it turns out ok

1. She is almost too kind, she would never want to hurt anyone's feelings..She's just like that.

2. She didn't let him tell her. She wanted to see what he would say because she didn't want to seem mean and say "Oh, no were not dating." So she just went a long with it. They don't even act like they're going out..

I'm giving her the benifit of the doubt..So far

[GangsterLike]

rough situation. just stay positive and pull thru it. if it doesnt work out...watever man..everything happens for a reason

[what's_taters?]

ok so really she is thinking to much about not hurting this other guys feelings. but in doing that she isnt getting what she wants, because she wants to be with you. I know she doesnt want to upset this guy, but by staying with someone she doesnt want to go out with and not being able to go out with you she is going to make herself unhappy. just let her know that you'll still be her friend whatever she decides to do, but also let her know that your feelings are stronger than just friendship. also, try and get her to realise that sometimes she needs to do what makes her happy rather than worrying too much about everyone else. i don't mean that in a selfish way and i am certainly not saying just upset who you like, what i mean is that she needs to follow her own feelings and be with who she wants to be with.

[sammie]

wat da hll im confused already

[Sarah!]

Originally Posted by Jenn436

Her mom would kick her out of the house for not wanting to go out with someone? What?

Why would her mom say that? Shouldn't she want her daughter to be happy? If she doesn't want to go out with this guy, and go out with you, then she should! Her mom should want her to do what makes her happy.

You told her the right thing though, I think you handled it very well. If she doesn't end up telling him, or she keeps going out with him, then at least you'll know its more than likely not her fault. Shes doing it to please her mom. Plus, dating doesn't really mean she has a boyfriend. It just means shes dating someone. Usually its perfectly fine to DATE more than one person.

My thoughts exactly.
You deffinitly said the right thing to her and you handled it well.

[Stagefright]

To me, it sounds like this girl has some problems that she needs to sort out. But anyway... I feel kind of sorry for her... But, again, anyway..

She seems very afraid of hurting this guy, but not so afraid of hurting you. Possibly because she was expecting you to understand, seeing as you are so close and what not..

In general, from what you have said, I get the impression she is not very good at asserting herself, probably has a pretty low self esteem and what not...

She is in a pretty sticky situation aswell, though. I am pretty sure you don't want her to get kicked out, so why the ultimatum?

If she is anything like I think she is, your reaction probably has her thinking that she has hurt you, and you are going to lose interest. And if you are going to lose interest, and she will get kicked out if she dumps this other guy, she will be better off sticking with this guy.

But... she may not be that way at all. I don't know.

[forvirret_]

Originally Posted by Stagefright

To me, it sounds like this girl has some problems that she needs to sort out. But anyway... I feel kind of sorry for her... But, again, anyway..

She seems very afraid of hurting this guy, but not so afraid of hurting you. Possibly because she was expecting you to understand, seeing as you are so close and what not..

In general, from what you have said, I get the impression she is not very good at asserting herself, probably has a pretty low self esteem and what not...

She is in a pretty sticky situation aswell, though. I am pretty sure you don't want her to get kicked out, so why the ultimatum?

If she is anything like I think she is, your reaction probably has her thinking that she has hurt you, and you are going to lose interest. And if you are going to lose interest, and she will get kicked out if she dumps this other guy, she will be better off sticking with this guy.

But... she may not be that way at all. I don't know.

She's the exact opposite of what you explained lol. She is very assertive, possative, self confident and outgoing..And I don't think it's really possible for me to loose interest in her as long as I still see her.

[hayz]

If her and her mum havent been on too good terms recently, why did she confide in her? Sorry, Im trying to understand her point of view and reasoning for the situation

[forvirret_]

Originally Posted by hayz

If her and her mum havent been on too good terms recently, why did she confide in her? Sorry, Im trying to understand her point of view and reasoning for the situation

Everything got fixed . I talked to her again, about why she got in the situation. She told me she runs away from problems she doesn't know how to fix. So I helped her to understand that doing so will only leave more destruction, created by her. I also want to help her confront other problems, that she has with friends and family. She's slightly troubled. (Funny thing is I was kicked out of my house just last year when I turned 16 heh..I don't want that to happen to her. Main goal right now is to help her any way I can)

[Silent_Khaos187]

just let her know that u are still interested in hervmore than just friends. and do your best to help her out.
but like the others said, i like the way u handled the situation. some people i know would have reacted totally different.