[KrisW_666]

Well, I'm planning to engage sometime this year, but we're going to wait a few years to get married. We gotta make sure we have a house and a good job and whatnot. And we both might be going to college. We talked it over, she doesn't think it's too soon, as long as I don't, like, propose tomorrow or something. I'm gonna wait until our 1-year anniversary, which is October 2nd of this year.

[Raven]

The fact that you actually have to ask has to be pretty obvious though..
Take a look at all the threads you've posted about your relationship and others. That should give you a pretty clear answer.
IMO.

[Popteen]

Have you seen that new show underaged and engaged on MTV?

[KrisW_666]

Originally Posted by Popteen

Have you seen that new show underaged and engaged on MTV?

Nope.

[Popteen]

You should check it out. It is about young peeps getting hitched

[LordGrace]

Originally Posted by Popteen

Have you seen that new show underaged and engaged on MTV?

Originally Posted by Popteen

You should check it out. It is about young peeps getting hitched

I think the clue is in the title there

Yeah, Kris. Why do you bother asking us advice when you already know what you're going to do anyway?

[Spoon]

Originally Posted by KrisW_666

Is it too soon to become engaged when you're still in highschool, even though you and your significant other have gone out for a year? And how long is long enough to wait to get married after becoming engaged?

Yes.

This is a biased point of view as i don't intend on getting married due to my horrific trust complex however i still wouldnt recommend it.

[Yeahhhh_Beth]

Well, everyone's on their own timescale, relationship wise, but you seem to have several small problems with your relationship, and it appears that maybe your looking at marriage as the soultion to them. Which i'm sad to say it isn't, infact its more likely to comlicate things.

If I were you, wait until you've got all the main problems out of your relationship and until your stable career wise, and then go for it if it feels right.

[tehfincheh]

As bad an idea as this sounds, the people who spend a few months in bliss together and decide to get engaged are just as bad.

Until you've experienced some problems in your relationship, you have no idea how your personalities are going to mesh when they inevitably arise. That's partly why i'm so cynical of people who get engaged young. Of course, the relationship feels perfect and strain-free. That's part of being young and all over each other. Until you know how bad your other half looks in the morning, you're not ready for marriage.

[LordGrace]

^ Yeah. Exactly. I think engagement is a really big deal. So much so that I think you realistically need to have spent 2 years with them to get the true picture of what it's like. It'll take that long really for all thew novelty to wear off, for you to get to know them really well, to se how you cope with arguments and problems and to see if there's less nice parts to them that you didn't see before.

But it's not just about time, it's about the situatiomn you're in. I don't think you should get married untill your life hassettled down. What I mean by that is, are you going to college? Is she going to college? Will you get separated? When can you live together? You say you won't get married till then... but I don't think it makes ssense to even get engaged untill you can commit yourself knowing you've done all those things. I think this will mean you get taken more seriously as a couple too.

I'm sure I've said before that as much as I love James if we ever get engaged it wont be for a good 4 years yet. Simply because we don't want to get engaged before we know we've got through all the moving around and survived the distance in the meantime. Ifwe get trough the next 4 years and end up living together I don't think anybody could really criticise us getting engaged.

Obviously, some people know sooner but at 16 I know from experience that you still have so much to learn about relaionships that it wouldn't be wise to jump into getting married. You should be thinking about how you can go round each others houses without people getting mad, not getting married.

[hani]

Are you even allowed to get married?

[Spoon]

yeah, 16 is the legal age for consent to marry

[hani]

No, I meant is she allowed to marry another woman.

[LordGrace]

Well, if they can't marry in that state they could just go to another.

[hani]

I thought it was illegal everywhere in America?